How often does it happen that you read two really good books in a row?
Almost never.
Or in my case, NEVER. Ever.
Never say never, my friends. It has happened.
I read these two books back to back and they are AMAZING!
Mother Daughter Me by Katie Hafner
Coming Clean by Kimberly Rae Miller
Both of these books are memoirs and center heavily on parent/child relationships.
Mother Daughter Me is about three generations (grandmother, daughter, granddaughter) who decide to live together under one roof. The grandmother was an alcoholic and mostly absent in her daughter's life while she was growing up and not overly present in her granddaughter's life growing up. As you might imagine, this "year in Provence" (as they like to call it)/living together experiment does not turn out so swell.
Coming Clean is about growing up in a house with parents who are hoarders. The author chronicles the squalor that she grew up in, but more importantly, her relationship with her parents and others around her and how they were different because of the hoarding.
Things I love about these books:
- Mother Daughter Me prefaces each chapter with great quotes. From page 104:
"What do girls do who haven't any mothers to help them through their troubles?" by Louisa May Alcott
- Mother Daughter Me addresses a really interesting topic -- women and money. From page 70:
Kate Levinson, a psychotherapist in Northern California, specializes in the topic of women and their relationship to money. In her book, aptly titled,
Emotional Currency, Levinson wrote that if we have enough money to cover our basic living expenses, much of the angst we experience around money stems from what she calls, "our inner money life." For women, it also represents a tangled skein of emotions. We use money to act out feelings we're unable to acknowledge or express in other ways. Nowhere does this play itself out more poignantly than in family dynamics.
WOW.
First, I have added
Emotional Currency to my "must read" list.
Second, this sentence - "We use money to act out feelings we're unable to acknowledge or express in other ways" makes total sense to me. What do I do when I'm stressed, annoyed, need a "break?" I spend money. I'll admit it. Shopping (spending money) is my way of releasing these feelings. (Granted, it's only a temporary fix...) I'll stop my psychoanalysis there until I read the other book. :)
- While my relationship with my Mom is completely the opposite from the grandmother/daughter in Mother Daughter Me (I didn't grow up as a child of divorce or with an alcoholic parent), I could relate to wanting to care for my Mom as she gets older.
- As I mentioned, Coming Clean is so much more than a "Hoarders" episode. I loved reading about the author's relationship with both of her parents and trying to imagine living in one of those "Hoarders" episodes, yet protecting fiercely and caring for deeply the hoarders.
- Again, my childhood was so different from that of the author of Coming Clean (I didn't grow up with parents who are hoarders), I found it fascinating to try to envision myself in Kimberly Rae Miller's childhood. Rats. Sludge. Having to take showers at a gym. Not being able to invite friends over. That last one is the one that really struck me.
- I admire the author of Coming Clean for seeking answers through therapy and addressing nightmares that she had much later in life about the hoard.
Read both of these books. You won't regret it!
