It's Me...Hi...I'm the Problem, It's Me

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I don't consider myself a Swiftie, but Taylor's lyric rings true for this blog. 

I'm the problem. It's Me. 

I wrote ONE stinking post last year. ONE. Was I so busy that I had absolutely zero time to write more? No. The answer is no.

I was "busy" being nosy on Instagram, getting a look into "celebrities" lives. Well, that problem is solved. I deleted my IG account. Buh bye.

I was "busy" scrolling Facebook- reading restaurant reviews, monitoring my small town's FB page for drama over trash & recycling, and so, yeah. Really "busy." 

I was "busy" watching cult/real-life drama documentaries- from The Program to The Vow. Extremely uplifting topics (NOT).

Will I do better this year? I hope so. I seem to have run out of depressing documentaries to watch. My IG account is disabled. It's Facebook that's the main time suck, although based on the crap they're surfacing in my feed, they might be pushing me out the door.

In the words of Aerosmith, "Same old story, same old song & dance"...

Now that we have that out of the way... 

• We're expecting a "big" snowstorm here in New England- 6-10". I hope everyone has their bread, milk, and eggs! I've agreed to get a lesson on the snowblower, so at the ripe old age of (almost) 53, I could run it if I had to. (But only if I really had to.)

• I cleaned out the spare bedroom closet. I may have a blanket/duvet/quilt addiction. I'd completely forgotten about some of the bed linens that were in there. I'm satisfied with blanket and cover on my bed, so I'm hoping I can put a stop to any near-term purchases in that realm.

• We did make some good recipes over the past year or so (I say "we" but really, I was the idea person and John executed). Here are a few:
• Goat Cheese Prosciutto Quiche
  
• Pepper Jelly Chicken Wings
  
• Easy Cherry Crisp
  
• Fancy Nancy Chicken Salad (Chicken Salad Chick Copycat)

• I went on a fabulous trip with my Mom- a river cruise on the Danube! Loved Budapest. Loved the people we met on the cruise. Had good food, good drink, and got to see parts of the world that I might not have otherwise had the opportunity to.

• We (again with the "we" 😉) re-did our main bathroom! It was a HUGE project and John orchestrated it all- doing some himself, working with contractors, and then dealing with my obsessing over which of the three shower curtains I bought would work. We make a good team! That deserves its own post- stay tuned!

Have a great long weekend!

Three Productive Things

I've decided that for the new year (we'll see how long it lasts) I will do three productive things each day. Big or small- doesn't matter. 

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I need to extricate myself from my phone/laptop and be productive. This is a constant struggle for me (I'm glued to a screen for hours and then feel guilty later because I have so much to do and didn't do any of it!)

I will track them in my brand new planner that I love that I got for Christmas from John. It's from Paper Source and it's gorgeous. It's larger than the ones I usually get, but I'm hoping it will be harder to avoid/write in. 😆

Today's three productive things are:

• I exercised! This is also a constant struggle for me. I don't like exercising. Period. (I'm sure I've said that here before.) I've really come to love my once-per-week mat Pilates class (I find the relaxation part to be the draw), but exercising at home is just a challenge. Today I did some Pilates stretches (bridges, rest pose, flat pigeon, etc.) and then I did this very short beginner fitness routine found here. I did the Monday routine (and yes fellow OCD peeps, I realize it's Saturday). I modified the push-ups (because I am weak), but otherwise, I did it!

• I deactivated my Twitter account! (See note above about being glued to phone). I have FB, IG & Twitter, and I figured I'd rip the least painful bandaid off first. Twitter for me is what I imagine Las Vegas is like (overstimulating and constant noise). I have a strong sense of FOMO leaving Twitter (it's where I first saw the news of the Boston Marathon bombing), but I will persevere.

• I grocery shopped AND did a few returns! Not much to say here, but I had a few items hanging around that needed to be returned and I decided to do it today. (It was odd- very few people out and about today- I didn't expect that.)

• BONUS FOURTH THING! I wrote this post. 🎉

Have you done anything productive today?

P.S. Happy New Year!

Sucked Into the Depressing News Rabbit Hole

 

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I do not watch the news on a regular basis, however, if a "train wreck"-type story pops up (which it often does), I get sucked in. I want to know everything I possibly can about the story. I often let myself be consumed by the hunt to find details, digest them, and then speculate, speculate, speculate. It can be mentally exhausting. I liken it to how I feel after watching an Intervention marathon. Major downer! 

The latest I am trying to distance myself from is the Murdaugh saga.

OK- this is just plain nuts. I first heard about it on an Instagram story for someone I follow (a "guilty pleasure" kind of follow, so I think I'll omit her identity...LOL). I heard Southern wealthy family mixed up in/with a handful of murders.

I then took off to find information. The Murdaughs have been influential in the judicial system in the Lowcountry of South Carolina for over 75 years. They run one of the most powerful law firms in Hampton County. In June, Maggie Murdaugh and her son Paul (22) were shot to death. Found at the family's hunting property (that should clearly indicate how much money we're talking here...) by Alex Murdaugh, Maggie's husband/Paul's father. Just last week, Alex Murdaugh was shot in the head- at first he claimed someone tried to murder him. He then recanted and admitted he hired someone to shoot and kill him so his other son (Buster) would get a $10 million insurance policy. Say what???? (Oh and he said he has an opioid addiction, thus causing this crazy action.)

Oh, it gets weirder. In 2019, Paul Murdaugh, his girlfriend, and two other couples were heavily intoxicated and riding in Alex's boat. Paul proceeded to crash the boat. One girl did not emerge from the water and her body was found a week later. Alex went from hospital room to hospital room telling the young adults not to talk to anyone about the accident and he'd "take care of it." Paul was scheduled to be arraigned for BUI charges just a short time after he was shot.

But wait...there's more. In 2015, a young man was allegedly killed in a hit and run on a rural road in South Carolina. Evidence points to this not being a hit and run. Multiple people interviewed by law enforcement indicated that they'd heard that Buster Murdaugh was involved. There are no records indicating that he was ever interviewed.

Lastly, in 2018, the Murdaugh's long-time housekeeper died in an alleged trip and fall accident. However, her death certificate indicates she died of "natural causes." There are rumors that Paul Murdaugh had something to do with her death.

Yeah, so totally Crazytown. Further proof that all the money and power in the world cannot buy you brains, morality, common sense, etc. etc.

One last thing- IF you are prepared to get sucked down the rabbit hole, check out Mandy Matney's podcast, Murdaugh Murders Podcast. She's a SC reporter that's been covering the Murdaugh family for over two years.

BOOK REVIEWS 2021

Book #44: The Versions of Us by Laura Barnett

Summary: Eva and Jim are nineteen, and students at Cambridge, when their paths first cross in 1958. Jim is walking along a lane when a woman approaching him on a bicycle swerves to avoid a dog. What happens next will determine the rest of their lives. We follow three different versions of their future - together, and apart - as their love story takes on different incarnations and twists and turns to the conclusion in the present day.

Rating: C+. Meh. The premise is a good one but the back and forth in time and the interweaving of multiple characters made it hard for me to follow and enjoy.

Book #45: Death du Jour by Lou Jane Temple

Summary: Fanny Delarue is a young cook for a wealthy family in the Place Royale. In her heart, she is keeping two fires burning-for food, and for her head chef, Henri. Together they feed the household, above stairs and below, and take lessons from Henri's mentor, Etienne de la Porte, chef to a neighboring household. Tempers flare and nerves are strained, until one day, Etienne is found dead under suspicious circumstances. The Place Royale is in tumult, and Fanny must solve the crime before the flames converge on her hopes for her own future.

Rating: C. Double meh. This is the second in Temple's Spice Box mystery series. It will be my last.

Book #46: My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She's Sorry by Fredrik Backman

Summary: The story takes place in Sweden and follows Elsa, a 7-year-old who knows she is different from other children her age. Elsa has a habit of correcting others' grammar, she is smart for her age, and is especially close with her grandmother (Granny). When Granny dies, Elsa slowly discovers more about her grandmother's past identities, as well as the lives of people affected by her grandmother.

Rating: A-. I've read other books by Backman and really enjoyed them, but for whatever reason had not picked this one up. My friend Andrea mentioned how two of her friends read it and had completely opposite reactions to it. This intrigued me. Of course, I saw her in person not that long ago and she asked me what I thought. Do you think I could remember? No. In writing this, I do remember enjoying it. Backman has a "unique" way of storytelling and I think you like it or you don't. There was also an element of repetition in this book and I could see how it might wear the reader down. But, don't let me sway you- read it and form an opinion on your own!

Book #47: Finlay Donovan is Killing It by Elle Cosimano

Summary: Finlay Donovan is killing it . . . except, she’s really not. She’s a stressed-out single-mom of two and struggling novelist, Finlay’s life is in chaos: the new book she promised her literary agent isn’t written, her ex-husband fired the nanny without telling her, and this morning she had to send her four-year-old to school with hair duct-taped to her head after an incident with scissors. When Finlay is overheard discussing the plot of her new suspense novel with her agent over lunch, she’s mistaken for a contract killer, and inadvertently accepts an offer to dispose of a problem husband in order to make ends meet . . . Soon, Finlay discovers that crime in real life is a lot more difficult than its fictional counterpart, as she becomes tangled in a real-life murder investigation.

Rating: C+. This book had potential to be hilarious. Great premise, just too much. Too many unbelievable mishaps and coincidences. 

Book #48: The Sixty-Eight Rooms by Marianne Malone

Summary: Almost everybody who has grown up in Chicago knows about the Thorne Rooms. Housed in the Children’s Galleries of the Chicago Art Institute, they are a collection of 68 exquisitely crafted miniature rooms made in the 1930s by Mrs. James Ward Thorne. Each of the 68 rooms is designed in the style of a different historic period, and every detail is perfect, from the knobs on the doors to the candles in the candlesticks. Some might even say, the rooms are magic. Imagine—what if you discovered a key that allowed you to shrink so that you were small enough to sneak inside and explore the rooms’ secrets? What if you discovered that others had done so before you? And that someone had left something important behind?

Rating: B+. In case you couldn't tell from the summary, this is a children's book. I have a thing for dollhouses and I recently read something from the New York Public Library that listed books featuring dollhouses in their storylines. I decided to give this a shot. It was pretty darn good. This is a series and I plan to read the next one.

Closing in on 400

This is post 397 of my 13ish year old blog. There were times when I was gung ho and wrote almost 100 posts in a year and then there were years when I was in the single digits. I wish I had more discipline and wrote more frequently but I've come to accept that's just not the way it is for me. So, take the posts when you get them!

My employer gives two days off at the 4th of July holiday, so that makes for a lovely four day weekend! I plan to kick it off with a pedicure tomorrow, some errands, and perhaps taking a peek at a bedroom set that I've had my eyes on. The weather here in New England has been oppressive the past few days and we're in for a cooler weekend, which I'm ok with!

While the blog has my attention, I'll try to catch up on some book reviews, since I am SO far behind!

BOOK REVIEWS 2021

Book #25: Uncanny Valley by Anna Weiner

Summary: The book focuses on Wiener's transition from the publishing industry to a series of jobs at technology companies, and her gradual disillusionment with the technology industry. After switching between several companies, she finally settles on the open-source coding company GitHub as a customer service representative. Despite the demeaning nature of her work and the stressful nature of investigating potentially inflammatory or illegal posts on the site, she decides to remain due to the company's various perks, such as being able to work from home. Throughout the book, Wiener ruminates about the moral implications of data collection and manipulation amongst technology firms.

Rating: B. This was recommended to me by my friend Andrea and I'm glad I read it. I've been somewhat down on memoirs lately, but this was interesting. As someone who is a "non-tech" person working at a tech company, I could relate to some of the things that Wiener went through. It was a nice diversion from the books I usually read.

Book #26: The Garden Intrigue by Lauren Willig

Summary: Secret agent Augustus Whittlesby has spent a decade undercover in France, posing as an insufferably bad poet. The French surveillance officers can’t bear to read his work closely enough to recognize the information drowned in a sea of verbiage. New York-born Emma Morris Delagardie is a thorn in Augustus’s side. An old school friend of Napoleon’s stepdaughter, she came to France with her uncle, eloped with a Frenchman, and has been rattling around the salons of Paris ever since. Now widowed, she entertains herself by holding a weekly salon, and loudly critiquing Augustus’s poetry. As Napoleon pursues his plans for the invasion of England, Whittlesby hears of a top-secret device to be demonstrated at a house party. The catch? The only way in is with Emma, who has been asked to write a masque for the weekend’s entertainment. In this complicated masque within a masque, nothing goes quite as scripted—especially Augustus’s unexpected feelings for Emma.

Rating: C+. This is the ninth book in Willig's Secret Carnation historical fiction/mystery series. I generally enjoy the books but I found Whittlesby to be annoying.

Book #27: The Darling Dahlias & the Voodoo Lily by Susan Wittig Albert

Summary: Spring, 1935 finds the little Alabama town of Darling excited about their new local radio station, WDAR. But there are problems brewing at the newspaper, where a trio of new hires causes headaches for editor Charlie Dickens. ​That’s not the worst of it, though, as the Dahlias discover when the newest resident at Bessie Bloodworth’s Magnolia Manor is found dead. She had overindulged in a large and very rich chocolate cake—but was something else baked into that cake? If so, one of the Dahlias is likely to find herself at the top of Sheriff Buddy Norris’ suspect list. That would give Darling something to gossip about!

Rating: B. This is (coincidentally) the ninth book in the Darling Dahlias series. I love this era and the small town feel of Darling. The characters are whimsical and Wittig Albert is a great storyteller!

Book #28: Big Girl Small Town by Michelle Gallen

Summary: Majella is happiest out of the spotlight, away from her neighbors’ stares and the gossips of the small town in Northern Ireland where she grew up just after the Troubles. She lives a quiet life caring for her alcoholic mother, working in the local chip shop, watching the regular customers come and go. She wears the same clothes each day (overalls, too small), has the same dinner each night (fish and chips, microwaved at home after her shift ends), and binge-watches old DVDs of the same show (Dallas, best show on TV) from the comfort of her bed. But underneath Majella’s seemingly ordinary life are the facts that she doesn’t know where her father is and that every person in her town has been changed by the lingering divide between Protestants and Catholics. When Majella’s predictable existence is upended by the death of her granny, she comes to realize there may be more to life than the gossips of Aghybogey, the pub, and the chip shop. In fact, there just may be a whole big world outside her small town. 

Rating: D+. This is the first book in a long time that I seriously considered stopping reading. I got a few chapters in and I found it slow & dull. I forced myself to continue with a glimmering hope that it would get better (it didn't). I'm sad, because the story had possibilities but I really didn't like the way it was told/written.

Book #29: The Mystery of Mrs. Christie by Marie Benedict

Summary: In December 1926, Agatha Christie goes missing. Investigators find her empty car on the edge of a deep, gloomy pond, the only clues some tire tracks nearby and a fur coat left in the car—strange for a frigid night. Her World War I veteran husband and her daughter have no knowledge of her whereabouts, and England unleashes an unprecedented manhunt to find the up-and-coming mystery author. Eleven days later, she reappears, just as mysteriously as she disappeared, claiming amnesia and providing no explanations for her time away. The puzzle of those missing eleven days has persisted. With her trademark historical fiction exploration into the shadows of the past, acclaimed author Marie Benedict brings us into the world of Agatha Christie, imagining why such a brilliant woman would find herself at the center of such murky historical mysteries. What is real, and what is mystery? What role did her unfaithful husband play, and what was he not telling investigators?

Rating: D. Two duds in a row! The sad part about this one is that I LOVED it up until the very end. I even recommended it to my cousin and then had to retract that recommendation. Talk about the most underwhelming ending...I can't think of a word other than "lame!"

Unplugging One Day a Week: Can You Do It?

Over the past six months or so (really since the pandemic started), social media has been too much for me. 

It's overstimulating. 

It's exhausting.

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What I'm really tired of is the vitriol on social media. Not matter how many people I unfriend or unfollow, it's there. And again, it's exhausting. (I fully believe it's being perpetuated by those at the top [and by top, I mean political leaders of this country.])

That being said, what can I do about this and what have I already done? I've taken small steps with the goal of being completely social media free for at least one day per week. (Eventually completely unplugged one day per week.)

I deleted the Twitter app from my phone. I can barely watch the news on TV or look at it online, so why would I want "in my face" commentary on said news? (Most of it laden with vitriol. BTW- vitriol is a word I don't use often, but it completely fits the bill here so I might used it repeatedly.) I haven't reinstalled it or looked at in a few weeks. I plan to keep this up.

While I consider Instagram at the back of the pack in terms of "in your face hatred," I've taken to deleting the app from my phone and reinstalling once or at the most twice per day when I want to look at it.

Facebook is the real problem child. I've "snoozed" several people, but here's a little secret. I am SUPER nosy. So, I frequently check the profiles of the people I've snoozed. Yeah, that's a big problem. I've done the same thing with the Facebook app on my phone that I've done with Instagram (deleting it and only reinstalling it a few times during the day.) This has helped, as I was looking at it first thing in the morning and starting my day off on the wrong foot. During the workday, I've taken to only looking at it at lunch and after dinner (with a few "slips"/exceptions.) Weekends are a bit tougher for me.

All that to say, I am your textbook case of being addicted to social media, but, as they say, "Admitting you have a problem is the first step!"

I'd been thinking about how to scale back for a while and I stumbled upon this book:

I thought for sure this would give me tips on how I could cut back on social media. While it did, it was much more hardcore and about going one day per week completely UNPLUGGED. Not using a cell phone at all. Not answering email at all. Printing out maps ahead of your unplugged day for any adventures you might be going on, because Google Maps is considered persona non grata on that day. Getting an old school watch because you can't use your cell phone to tell what time it is. You get the point.

There were some snippets I really liked throughout the book. There's a section in which the author suggests making bread on your unplugged day (wait-what?) The point is to do something old school and special on that day. Shlain says, "The idea is to have something extra and unique, be it food you only eat on that day, flowers on the table, or wine you drink only for special occasions--something that enhances and marks the day." I really like this. Maybe there's a bunch of recipes you've been dying to try- you could do one on each unplugged day.

As mentioned, the book is much broader than scaling back on social media (but rather harkening to the time of Little House on the Prairie for a day.) However, there is some writing about social media specifically that stuck with me. Here's a segment:

    In his book Ten Arguments for Deleting Your Social Media Accounts Right Now, computer scientist and author Jaron Lanier presents social media's many cons, including "Social media is destroying your capacity for empathy." 

I firmly believe in that bulleted statement. The hatred and vitriol are just further proof that this is happening. People cannot think beyond themselves and their world and social media is enabling this.

The book has several appendices with activities that could be done on your unplugged day and tips on how to prepare for your "tech shabbat," as Shlain refers to her day of unplugging. There's even a section that lists the physical and mental benefits of extending some of the rules from your "off day" to the other six days of the week, such as limiting screen time.

I'll leave you with this statement from the book which stuck with me and the subsequent list of things we should practice more of: 

On social media, we're all plants, leaning toward the sunlight we can't get enough of, seeking the warmth of likes, hearts, and retweets. But staying rooted and grounded is important. Being intentional about how you use social media and having your own strategy gives you time to process how it's affecting your life and find what you may want to change.

Book #45- 24/6: The Power of Unplugging One Day Per Week by Tiffany Shlain

Summary: Shlain takes us on a thought-provoking and entertaining journey through time and technology, introducing a strategy for flourishing in our 24/7 world. Drawn from the ancient ritual of Shabbat, living 24/6 can work for anyone from any background. 

Rating: B-. For the most part, this had practical suggestions for unplugging one day per week. (However, the nonchalance with which Shlain indicated you should have a landline/phone for that landline was a bit odd.)

Strange Things Are Afoot at the Circle K

If only at the end of this 90 minute late 80's classic movie could we emerge from the theater and find out that the COVID-19 pandemic never happened. That is was just a figment of a movie director's imagination and not real.

I wish.

And I'm guessing 99.9% of people worldwide wish the same (I'm very literal and do need to account for that wackadoodle .1%.)

(Oh, and if you're not following along, I'm referring to the movie Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure.)

However, this is DEFINITELY not an excellent adventure and definitely not a 90 minute movie that we will emerge from.

Unfortunately.

I have a lot of things to write, but not sure I'll be able to get it all out in a coherent manner, but let's give it the old college try, as my Mom would say.

On Thursday, the company I work for gave the directive that we were to begin working from home starting Friday, March 13th. We got emails leading up to this directive that made me think in the back of my mind it was possible (bring your laptop home every night, make sure you can access the VPN, etc...), but honestly, I didn't think it could really happen. Because a directive to work from home meant things are serious...and that's tough to deal with (at least for me.)

So, on Thursday, March 12th, I packed up and said goodbye to the cubicle that I spend 40 hours a week in.

I brought my two monitors, docking station, laptop, keyboard, mouse, etc... home and my trusty in-home IT support guy set me up.

I am thankful that I have a nice space to work from and a view where I can see birds, squirrels, chipmunks, and (if I put my glasses on) deer.

But it's not the same. I can't yell over to Andrea in the next cube to ask if she's having trouble in Teams. I can't walk down to Terry's cube and ask her if she wants to go for a walk. And I can't go into Annie's office to sing whatever song is in my head at that moment (and grab chocolate.) Thus, the social isolation aspect of working from home has been tough. (But I do have that cute in-home IT support guy to chat me up when needed.)

I will say that it has helped when I and others turn on our camera during meetings. It's good to see people's faces and hear their voices. While it's not the same as in person, it's better than nothing!

I also realize that others still have to go to work during this crisis...to help others. I sincerely appreciate those who put their health at risk to help others. Doctors, nurses, other healthcare workers, grocery store and pharmacy employees. Thank you, thank you, thank you, and stay healthy.

Let's talk about something REALLY important, shall we?

Toilet paper.

This was taken the evening of Thursday the 12th at our local grocery store.

My food/paper goods panic started the night prior when I could tell sh*t was getting real. I volunteered to go to the grocery store on the way in to work on Thursday morning to at least pick up bottled water, since that's 90% of what we drink. At 8:45AM it was packed. I got four cases of water and while I wanted to get more, I knew I had to be on my way to the office.

During the day, I told John to work on a list and when I got home, I knew I would be going to the store. I needed something that I could exert control over since it felt like none of this was under my (or anyone's control.) After we ate dinner, I went to the store and piled up with basically anything I thought we might need. From meats to frozen food to bread to Pop Tarts to microwave popcorn. At that point they were out of eggs, pasta (although I got two random/off brand boxes of spaghetti), paper goods (as you can see above), and any type of cleaning supplies.

I felt like I was transported back to the Soviet Union. It was odd. Really odd. Eerie is more like it.

While I couldn't get toilet paper that night, we had enough to get us through the short term, so I laid that obsession to rest (temporarily.)

Over the next day or so, John and I discussed the fact that he's immunocompromised (due to being less than a year out from cancer treatment). I told him that I was worried about him going out into public and that I really thought it best he not do so. I was scared. I still am. Luckily, he came to the same conclusion and agreed that I would go out when we needed something.

It's hard to describe, but after having been through such a traumatic event (his cancer) and surviving it (which was exhausting and wore both of us down), my worry has been off the charts in terms of me getting sick or him getting sick again. This pretty much started right after we found out he had clean scans. I think all of the emotions I had to keep in check while he was sick so I could carry on were finally coming out. And now, with the pandemic, it's ratcheted up another notch. Thankfully, I have anti-anxiety medication that I can take when needed. And a loving husband and friends and family that talk me down when needed.

OK- back to toilet paper.

I went out on Thursday (the 19th, if like me you're getting confused) to get some more groceries and to look for toilet paper as we were getting low. None. No dice.

Ridiculous, but I was starting to panic about not having toilet paper.

I had a really bad day on Friday (the 20th) anxiety-wise and didn't sleep well and was up at 4AM on Saturday morning (the 21st). I decided since I was up and it was unlikely I'd get up this early again anytime soon, I went to the grocery store at around 6:30AM.

That picture you see above of the paper goods aisle? Same thing on Saturday morning. I bought a bit more food, brought it home, and then decided to step up my journey for the toilet paper.

The Target app (liar) told me that they had toilet paper. Nope.

I went to another grocery store. Nope.

I went to CVS. I see the single rolls of Scott toilet paper. (And hear the angels singing Hallelujah in the background). A woman was grabbing some and said, "Do you need some? I'll leave you some." THANK YOU! There were five rolls and I grabbed four, thinking someone might be desperate. She and I (6 feet apart) get up to the register and we start to notice that there are rolls of Scott toilet paper EVERYWHERE. Just piled up.

She gets up to the cashier and the cashier says limit of one roll per person. ONE? OK- now I know why people were dumping the toilet paper rolls everywhere. I think to myself that one is better than none and I'll hit Walgreens next. The cashier says to the woman, "I have some multi-packs back here- do you want one of these?" (Again with the angels singing Hallelujah in the background.)

So, let me get this straight. We can only buy one single roll of Scott toilet paper, but you'll sell me a multi-pack of 18 rolls? SOLD!

I stepped up and got the last multi-pack. Phew. I could now let that obsession go...for now.


I want to end on a positive note. I've discovered that there are certain things that are helping me get through each day.

A routine. A routine is huge.

• Get up and shower as if you are going to work. 
• Get dressed. 
• Put on makeup (if you feel like it). 
• Each lunch at the regular time. 
• Take a snack break when you'd normally walk to the vending machine.
• GET OUTSIDE. We have gone for a walk everyday so far (except one) and it's been amazing. I've never seen as many neighbors out and about as I have in the past week. And everyone's friendly (from a distance). I can honestly say that this has made me smile.
• Exercise. The outside walk will do it, but if you want to do more, do it.
• CONNECT with people. My friend Terry and I did a video chat. I did one with my parents today. Talk on the phone. Message. Send smoke signals.

Find something that will make you smile and be thankful for the day at hand, even though it may be a struggle. (And if you can't find it today, you'll find it tomorrow.)

Looking Ahead

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2019 is almost here- less than 48 hours away!

As a lot of other people do, I always reflect on what I want to do better or more of in the upcoming year. At the ripe old age of 46, I know that I won't achieve all of my goals. If I can achieve a small percentage and maybe partially complete some others, I will be satisfied.

Here goes:

1) Pull this blog off of life support and get it breathing again. That sounds familiar, doesn't it? I've said it frequently in the past. I've meant it at the time I said it, but it never came to fruition. So...let's try again, shall we? I won't try to set a goal like, "blog at least once a week" because I know I won't do it. How about we go with blog more than 2018? (I wrote SIX blog posts in 2018 [including this one]). SAD! I love writing. I need to be more intentional about my free time. (Translation- less time sitting on Facebook & Instagram.)

2) Share what I read. I list my books read with a letter rating in the right column of this blog. I keep track on Goodreads. I occasionally share via Instagram or Facebook. I've had people message me on Facebook or email asking for reading recommendations, so why not share on a wider/more consistent basis? In 2019, for each book I finish reading, I will post on Instagram & Facebook with a photo of the book, the name/author, a snippet of what the book is about, my letter rating, and a snippet review. Because I want to speak the "kids" language, I will be creating/using a hashtag for this project- #katiereads2019 (Brilliant, right?) Hopefully this will give followers exposure to books they might not otherwise get and they might give recommendations back.

3) Lose the 10 lbs I lost in 2018 but gained back. Yeah, not much to say here. I need to suck it up buttercup and do it. I'm back on the Couch to 5K program (week 2, day 1 completed earlier today.) I use the 5K Runner app and it's great. Eating is really where the problem lies. Holidays and eating healthy are just not a good match. But, as they say in Weight Watchers, there's always tomorrow.

4) Spend time doing calligraphy and lettering. I have collected a few books about calligraphy and lettering and want to actually sit down and open them up and use them. I also have some Tombow Dual Brush Pens/Markers that I bought a while ago to go with the books. I need to dust them off and spend a 1/2 hour on a weekend just doing that.

5) Do what I like. Like what I do. 

See you in 2019! Happy New Year!

My (Almost) Social Media-Free Long Weekend

Happy Labor Day! (Do people actually say that? It's not like "Merry Christmas! or Happy New Year!)

Anywho, it's been a  nice long weekend so far and I spent most of it social media-free...and I couldn't be happier.

I'd been feeling blah about Facebook and burnt out on it, so on Friday night I decided that on Saturday, I would be completely social media-free.

I woke up around 9ish on Saturday and it was hard. Usually the first thing I do is check Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. (Addicted much?) But, I pushed through the constant voice in my head telling me I might be missing out on something (!) and got showered and ready for the day. 

The key to this being successful was STAYING BUSY. (And now you're going to hear every painstaking detail of staying busy.)

I went to my town's library and picked up my next book:

This is the first in the Penn Cage series (I previously read one of the later ones).

I then went to the library in the next town over (because I needed to return some books there and I wanted to pick up a book they had, but my library didn't). I was able to successfully return the books, but they were closed (I still haven't figured out why- maybe long weekend for them?), so I left empty-handed.

I then went to Rite Aid to get a prescription and I was off to treat myself to a pedicure. I really love pedicures. I have awful fingernails, so I never get manicures, but I feel like most everyone has awful feet/toenails, so I don't have to cower in shame while they clip, file, buff. (Oh, and the hot stone massage they do on the legs is to die for!)

I chose Essie's Angora Cardi, one of my all-time faves.

Oh, and another good thing about getting a pedicure? My phone usually only gets one bar while I'm in there, so it really prohibited me from getting onto Facebook! 

I came home and actually sat outside and ate my lunch. Without my phone. I brought my Kindle out and read while eating. It was great. 

I did some laundry and picking up around the house to keep busy. (This is when it was toughest not to get on social media.)

Late afternoon, I got ready to go out, as we were heading to Manchester, NH.

Here I am in my cute new shirt (TJ Maxx clearance!)

I had done research on Trip Advisor about the best restaurants in Manchester and ended up choosing Firefly.

It was great! Their drink menu is endless (an entire book dedicated to cocktails is OK by me!) I started with a Peartini and John had a Red Sangria. The Peartini was OK, but somewhat different from others I'd had in the past. We started with Go-Go Bread, which is toasted bread slices with gorgonzola fondue. Mmmmm. We wolfed that down and decided on our dinner- the catch of the day special for me (scallops with linguine, pancetta, spinach in a vodka sauce) and chicken piccata for John. The food was EXCELLENT! I highly recommend. Nice atmosphere and nice staff, as well. Oh, and I ended up trying another drink- the blood orange cosmo (that one was more to my liking!)

After eating, we walked through downtown Manchester to the NH Fisher Cats game. It was about a 20 minute walk and it was a nice night, so that worked out fine. 

I really do love minor league ballparks. They often have more character than major league parks and they're quirky and fun. (More on that later.)

The view from our seats:

Happy people:

The uniforms in minor leagues can sometimes rival the majors- personally I think these are wayyyyy worse than the Arizona Diamondbacks uniforms.

(Does anyone else think "jockey" when they see this half red/half blue get up?)

I was able to put the horrible uniforms aside, when I saw Ollie, the Fisher Cats' bat dog:

And how lucky were we to see him? This weekend is his last weekend, or his "retirement tour" as the jumbotron kept telling us. (I didn't see him get any gifts like David Ortiz has gotten on his retirement tour- I think Ollie might've gotten the short end of the stick...get it?)

We had a great time. 

When we got home, I'd gone 24 hours without social media. I was proud of myself and as a treat, got on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. 

You know what? I missed NOTHING.

On Sunday (yesterday), I probably checked in to social media maybe five times all day (which is low for me). Today is the same. 

That first 24 hours was the hardest, but now? Eh, I can live without it. The best part? I don't have that "oh my gawd, I did nothing over the weekend and now it's time to go back to work guilt trip." I cleaned the basement yesterday, put a shoe rack together that's been collecting dust, and enjoyed myself.

I think I like the fact that I proved to myself that I can survive without it.

And now I will go post this on social media. :)

Periscope: Sensory Overload & It's Theme Song Is Carly Simon's "You're So Vain"

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Are you familiar with Periscope?

Not the thing that comes out of the submarine, but rather the technology that allows for Person A to watch/listen to random Person B on the other side of the world. Person B could be eating dinner (see above), could be watching TV, could be tending to crops, etc... Person A then has the ability to submit questions/comments and Person B, if so inclined, can comment/answer. Just realize that there are are hundreds, if not thousands of other Person A's watching the broadcast/submitting questions.

While the original Person A is listening to/watching Person B, Person A is thinking of what to say/ask AND reading the scrolling commentary going by at a fast clip.

Two words (well, four, but two phrases)-

a) Sensory overload
b) Narcissist central

I stumbled across Periscope while scrolling through my Twitter feed and saw that Curt Schilling (former professional baseball player) posted that he was on Periscope. Curiosity got the better of me and I downloaded the app to see what it was all about.

At first, I was sucked in. A superstar (to Red Sox fans he is- helped us win the first World Series in 86 years) was on my phone and talking to "the people." (Truth be told, his snoring dog Georgia is really what sucked me in.)

People were asking about the infamous bloody sock, chicken and beer in the clubhouse, life as a professional athlete, etc.. For someone as nosy as me, well, it was cool.

I sent some of my own questions and when he'd answer them, I was sold on Periscope.

After the first time I watched, the subsequent broadcasts were the same. Curt sitting in his living room answering the same questions over and over (FYI- Todd Helton was the hardest hitter for him to get out and no, the bloody sock didn't have ketchup on it.) He also ventured out for trips to Taco Bell, to the hockey rink for his son's practice, to his kitchen for a late night snack.

After about the fourth or so broadcast, I was feeling sensory overload. Trying to watch the video (he might flash to his dog!), watch what others were posting/asking, listening to his responses, and trying to think if I had any brilliant questions that hadn't been asked before was a bit too much for me. While I think Facebook has its pros and cons, I'm comfortable with the fact that it's not so fast moving. (Did I just say that? How old am I?)

But, what I really started to realize (I'm a bit slow on the uptake sometimes), was how pompous Person B can be (in this case, Curt Schilling.)

Again, while Facebook is not THE social media outlet, at least you're sharing things with your friends/people you know/people that in theory care about what you're sharing. You're not posting that you're feeling down and waiting for millions of strangers to ask you what's wrong. THAT is what Periscope can be.

Feed the ego with attention from strangers in real time.

My opinion has done a 180. (At least of Curt's Periscope.) Washed up professional athlete that doesn't get attention on the playing field, so looking to get it wherever he can. (And, as an aside, use it further his own aspirations for a career in politics.) It's all about him. Ugh.

That said, my husband reminded me that Periscope CAN have a valuable purpose. Example: At the non-profit my husband works at, they'll Periscope a training, which would obviously benefit listeners/watchers.

Have you used Periscope? Have you been Person A or Person B? What are your thoughts?

**The thoughts expressed in this post are 100% mine...and I have a right to them!**

Just Call Me the Terminator

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I'LL BE BACK blogging in 2016!

Really.

I will.

I miss writing a lot, as I think I've said before, I find it cathartic.

It's just one of those things that I have to make time for. (Less time on Facebook, perhaps?!?!?)

I hope everyone has a happy & healthy 2016 & that you make the time to do the things you really like to do!

Sad State of Affairs

**Disclaimer: The views expressed in this blog post are mine and mine alone.**

Rarely does something happen that makes me say, "I need to write a blog post about this...immediately."

The exception to that statement happened last night.

While scrolling through my Facebook news feed, I came across this post:

Before we continue with our (ir)regularly scheduled blog post, let me provide some context for those of you following along at home.

While a student at American University in Washington, DC, I was a member of the Delta Gamma (DG) sorority. (Yes, it's technically a fraternity for women, but we don't have time for that history lesson and yes, I'm technically still a member, it just sounds weird to say that, like I'm still in college at age 43...lol.)

So, when I see news about DG, especially about chapters in DC, I pay attention.

You may be saying to yourself, "Self, why is this such earth shattering news? Fraternities and sororities are in trouble all the time."

You're right, self.

So, yes, while the closure of a DG chapter is upsetting and saddening, it's not what really enraged me.

Now you may be saying to yourself, "Self, she must be upset about the behavior of the GW DG members."

Yes, self, you're correct again.

Anytime I hear of misconduct (we'll just use that generic term) on the part of sorority or fraternity members, it upsets me. (Should you be interested, the misconduct of the GW chapter is briefly described here. -- hazing, serving alcohol to minors, among other things)

However, this is also not what really incensed me.

What REALLY incensed me was the reaction by members of the GW chapter to the closure.

How do I know how they were reacting?

Social media, of course.

After reading the above post, I started to scroll through the comments that people were leaving. The majority of the comments were backing up EO (Executive Office) for closing the chapter. Then, I started to see a few that were defending the members of the chapter and condemning EO for closing it. Based on the "likes" for those comments, it was easy to deduce that they were written by family members of GW DG's or members themselves.

I started to view the FB profiles for those that were members.

And I started to get really angry.

None of the profiles were public in that I could see posts that they were writing, but I could see their cover and profile photos.

And this is the kind of stuff that I started to see:

(FYI: The hashtag stands for I don't give a f*ck.)

While the actual image itself might be considered humorous by some, the hashtag puts it over the top.

I then saw this:

In case you're not familiar with the "Bye Felicia" phenomenon (spawned from quote from a 1995 movie), you can get a basic idea here. It's similar to the above IDGAF.

So, while these were basically flipping DG the middle finger, the next one is the worst, in my mind.

To me, this screams, "I know I did something wrong, but who cares? I don't need to be responsible for my actions because they were the "in" thing to do, others were doing it, blah blah."


For me, the theme of these photos posted on FB is just that.

I did nothing wrong.

Even if I did do something wrong, who cares? 

Rules don't apply to me.

Let me deflect the fact that I did do something wrong and blame it on someone else. 

Held responsible for my actions (or the actions of those that I associate with)? NOPE.

Laurel Thatcher Ulrich said that well-behaved women rarely make history, so that's justification for my actions.


The fact that no one wants to be held responsible for their actions in today's society angers me to no end.

One of the comments on DG's post above about closing the chapter (written by a chapter member), said something to the effect of, I don't need older women who are out of touch telling me what I can and can't do (what's wrong and what's right).

Here's a newsflash -- you willingly signed up to be a member of the organization. While pledging that organization, you were told of the organization's rules and standards. You KNOW what you signed up for.

::steps down from soap box::

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BQOTD: Can You Be Friends With Someone You've Not Met IRL?

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With the World Wild Wild Web out there, more and more people are getting exposed to strangers.

OK..that didn't sound right. Let's try again.

With online message boards, blogs, etc... people are virtually "meeting" people that have similar interests that may live across the state, country, or world. They may never meet IRL ("in real life"), yet they may learn things about each other, each other's families, work, likes, dislikes, etc...

So, this brings us to the BQOTD:

Can You Be Friends With Someone You've Not Met IRL?

Um, yeah!!!

Proof:

When John and I got engaged, I joined The Knot. The Knot is a huge online wedding planning site with a chat board for every imaginable topic related to wedding planning (and beyond.) I gravitated towards my "local board" (the Boston board). I got helpful advice on wedding planning and vendors local to Boston.

I also got my first taste of the dark side of online chat boards.

I saw how mean people could be when they were hiding behind a "screen name" (it was often discovered that someone would create multiple screen names and could be perfectly nice in one thread, but nasty in another.)

However, the positive outweighed the negative (someone even GAVE me four Bruins tickets!) and I stepped outside of my comfort zone and met these "strangers" IRL at a GTG (that's "get together" for those not familiar.)

An outing to a Red Sox game was planned for the group.

(There was a segment in Red Sox broadcasts where the onfield reporter would go into the stands and interview someone deemed "not your typical fan," thus the t-shirt slogan.) (Sorry I didn't iron it. :)

Clever, eh?

I had a great time and keep in touch with a few people from that group via Facebook. (And, they're just as helpful now, years later, as they were back on the chat board. One offered to teach me to knit and lets me know if Golden Retriever puppies are available from a friend of her family. I can still ask them questions about local places/services and know they'll be happy to help...and vice versa.)

Once you get married, the next chat board in the natural progression of life is The Nest. The Nest, similar to The Knot, is an online planning site for home buying and other "married life" topics, i.e., cooking, money, health, relationships. (There's a completely separate one for having children, The Bump.)

When we were looking at houses in late 2007, I decided to join The Nest. I figured I'd poke around on the local Boston board there, but I don't remember posting much there. Somehow, I was drawn to the Decorating & Renovating board (fondly known as "D&R.")

I got help/advice on house layouts, paint, bathroom fixtures, washing machine brands, etc...

That "etc..." consisted of laughs.

LOTS of laughs.

Some will find it crazy, but I found myself spending lots of time (maybe too much?) posting and responding to posts that didn't necessarily have to do with buying a house.

I found myself getting to know those that posted in D&R.

We each had "signatures" (text/photo/links at the bottom of each of our posts/responses) that helped me to get to know fellow posters.

I'd see a Golden Retriever in someone's signature and start asking questions, sharing pictures, etc...

I'd see a sports logo in someone's signature and start asking about their team.

The drama soon started up on the Board (same nonsense that happened on the Knot...and in some cases even nastier) and a subset of us decided we'd had enough but wanted to continue our friendship via an online format. (I say "we" but I think it was a few people that spearheaded the move. I'm sure someone will correct me. :)

Our group of 15 moved to Google Groups.

We were able to post/chat without trolls butting in and causing drama.

While we kept our screen names from The Nest, we shared more private details about our lives with each other during this time. (We even had each others' addresses, as we did ornament exchanges, sent cards for occasions, etc...)

Over time, two people dropped out, leaving us with 13.

Then along came Facebook.

We would not only be "friends" on Facebook, but we would move our group there, as well. (One stop shopping!)

The odd thing about moving our group there, was that now our "real names" were staring us in the face.

On The Nest and in Google Groups, we referred to each other by our screen names (often names, often words/numbers) and for me, it was hard to start calling these people I'd gotten to know by their "real" names. (Occasionally I still throw out a screen name to see if anyone's paying attention.)

All of this is to say, that YES, you absolutely positively can be friends with someone you've not met IRL.

Our group of 13 lives in 11 states (soon to be 10.)

We're single (yet in a committed relationship), married, divorced, remarried.

We're parents, stepparents, aunts.

We're teachers (a lot of us are!), librarians, bakers, Tupperware saleswomen, legal assistants, businesswomen, graphic designers, musicians, and more.

We've been there for each other through births and deaths, marriages and divorces, bad jobs, illnesses, miscarriages, going back to school, graduating, moving, getting a pet...and just about any other major life event that you can think of.

We encourage each other.

We give advice to each other (sometimes unsolicited :)

We disagree with one another.

We make each other laugh.

And while four of our current group have met each other IRL (one member even attended the wedding of another member!), the majority of us have not.

We do joke about a GTG at the Mall of America or Aruba or Las Vegas and when one of us hits Powerball, we expect this to happen.

Until then?

We'll continue our friendship of almost eight years just the way we have been!