Summer Reading Challenge Final Wrap Up

Another "day late/dollar short" post on my reading (shocker there!)

The Summer Reading Challenge ended on August 31st, although I allowed myself to go a bit past the deadline. 

Of a possible 200 points, I finished with 185. Not bad for my first challenge!

5 points: Freebie! Read any book that fits the general rules. 

10 points: Read a book you have never heard of before. (Just go to a shelf and pick a book based on the cover, the title, whatever you want!) 

10 points: Read a book that has been on your TBR list for at least two years. (If you've had a Goodreads account for 2+ years, this will be easy to figure out. If you don’t, do your best to pick a book you’re pretty sure you’ve been wanting to read for years.)

10 points: Read a book that won a Goodreads "Best Book" award in 2014. 

15 points: Read a book by an author who is completely new to you. 

15 points: Read a book by an author you have read before. (No re-reads for this one.) 

15 points: Read a book with "light" or "dark" in the title. (Or "lightness" or "darkness.") I didn't get to this one -- it was tough to find a book that I wanted to read with "light" or "dark" in the title.

20 points: Read a book with the name of a city, state or country in the title. Edited to add: The place must be real, either current or historical, but not fictional. 

20 points: Read a book with an animal on the cover.

25 points: Read a book that is part of a series with at least four books. 

25 points: Read a book that is longer than 500 pages long. — Submitted by winter finisher Kristen from See You In a Porridge blog. 

30 points: Read a book with an alliterative title. (All words in the title must begin with the same letter; no exceptions for articles or prepositions. Examples: Gone Girl or Nicholas Nickleby. Yes, this is tough, which is why it's worth the most points!)

If you're interested in doing a reading challenge, Semi-Charmed Kind of Life is doing a Winter Challenge (found here), which starts on November 1st. I'll be doing it - join us!

Books Read in 2014

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If there was ever a situation when the phrase, "better late than never" fit, this would be it.

Without further ado, almost 11 months later, here's a recap of the books I read in 2014 (those with an asterisk, I'd HIGHLY recommend, those with a pound sign, DON'T BOTHER!):

1. Invention of Wings by Sue Monk Kidd (*)- While this wasn't necessarily an easy book to read, it was a great one.

2. Unremarried Widow by Artis Henderson

3. Black Heels to Tractor Wheels by Ree Drummond

4. 12 Years a Slave by Solomon Northup (*)- In the same vein as The Invention of Wings, not an easy book to read, but an important one. (This was the book that the town I live in chose to read as a group. Sad, but I had never heard of it prior to then and when the movie came out.)

5. The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt

6. Murder on the Rocks by Allyson K. Abbott

7. Hens Dancing by Raffaella Barker

8. Destroyer Angel by Nevada Barr

9. Death Come Quickly by Susan Wittig Albert

10. Steeped in Evil by Laura Childs

11. Crooked Letter, Crooked Letter by Tom Franklin

12. Visionist by Rachel Urquhart (#) - Weird, very weird.

13. Nesting Place by Myquillyn Smith

14. China Dolls by Lisa See

15. Deep Dish by Mary Kay Andrews

16. Top Secret Twenty-One by Janet Evanovich

17. Glitter & Glue by Kelly Corrigan (*) - Great book about parents and their roles and how those play through in their children's lives.

18. Sugar Cookie Murder by Joanne Fluke

19. Chestnut Street by Maeve Binchy

20. Defending Jacob by William Landay

21. Song House by Trezza Azzopardi (#)- The description of the Welsh landscape can be so beautiful, yet the stories that take place in them are so depressing.

22. Dr. Nightingale Traps the Missing Lynx by Lydia Adamson

23. Cocktail Hour Under the Tree of Forgetfulness by Alexandra Fuller (*) - I absolutely LOVE Fuller's tales of growing up in central Africa in the 70's. It's interesting to imagine having grown up on a different continent, among exotic animals and landscapes. I highly recommend this and her first book, Let's Don't Go to the Dogs Tonight.

24. Murder with a Twist by Allyson K. Abbott

25. Cookbook Collector by Allegra Goodman

26. Dr. Nightingale Seeks Greener Pastures by Lydia Adamson

27. The Mouse-Proof Kitchen by Saira Shah (*) - This is an amazing book, but complicated. After reading it, I remember trying to explain why I felt it was life-changing, but it was difficult to put into words. 

Here's what I said on Goodreads:

This is an amazing book and by far the best I've read in a long time. It's brutally honest. The characters say what some people in "real life" are thinking but can't say. It's above love. It's about adventure. It's about disappointment. Read it -- you won't be sorry.

I'll leave you with that. 

28. Looking for Alaska by John Green

29. Limpopo Academy of Private Detection by Alexander McCall Smith

30. Darling Dahlias & the Naked Ladies by Susan Wittig Albert

31. Dr. Nightingale Follows a Canine Clue by Lydia Adamson

32. Best to Laugh by Lorna Landvik (*) - Landvik is one of my all-time favorite authors and I (im)patiently wait for her new books to come out. This one didn't disappoint. It's a wonderfully crafted story with witty, endearing & believable characters. A feel-good book.

Sad State of Affairs

**Disclaimer: The views expressed in this blog post are mine and mine alone.**

Rarely does something happen that makes me say, "I need to write a blog post about this...immediately."

The exception to that statement happened last night.

While scrolling through my Facebook news feed, I came across this post:

Before we continue with our (ir)regularly scheduled blog post, let me provide some context for those of you following along at home.

While a student at American University in Washington, DC, I was a member of the Delta Gamma (DG) sorority. (Yes, it's technically a fraternity for women, but we don't have time for that history lesson and yes, I'm technically still a member, it just sounds weird to say that, like I'm still in college at age 43...lol.)

So, when I see news about DG, especially about chapters in DC, I pay attention.

You may be saying to yourself, "Self, why is this such earth shattering news? Fraternities and sororities are in trouble all the time."

You're right, self.

So, yes, while the closure of a DG chapter is upsetting and saddening, it's not what really enraged me.

Now you may be saying to yourself, "Self, she must be upset about the behavior of the GW DG members."

Yes, self, you're correct again.

Anytime I hear of misconduct (we'll just use that generic term) on the part of sorority or fraternity members, it upsets me. (Should you be interested, the misconduct of the GW chapter is briefly described here. -- hazing, serving alcohol to minors, among other things)

However, this is also not what really incensed me.

What REALLY incensed me was the reaction by members of the GW chapter to the closure.

How do I know how they were reacting?

Social media, of course.

After reading the above post, I started to scroll through the comments that people were leaving. The majority of the comments were backing up EO (Executive Office) for closing the chapter. Then, I started to see a few that were defending the members of the chapter and condemning EO for closing it. Based on the "likes" for those comments, it was easy to deduce that they were written by family members of GW DG's or members themselves.

I started to view the FB profiles for those that were members.

And I started to get really angry.

None of the profiles were public in that I could see posts that they were writing, but I could see their cover and profile photos.

And this is the kind of stuff that I started to see:

(FYI: The hashtag stands for I don't give a f*ck.)

While the actual image itself might be considered humorous by some, the hashtag puts it over the top.

I then saw this:

In case you're not familiar with the "Bye Felicia" phenomenon (spawned from quote from a 1995 movie), you can get a basic idea here. It's similar to the above IDGAF.

So, while these were basically flipping DG the middle finger, the next one is the worst, in my mind.

To me, this screams, "I know I did something wrong, but who cares? I don't need to be responsible for my actions because they were the "in" thing to do, others were doing it, blah blah."


For me, the theme of these photos posted on FB is just that.

I did nothing wrong.

Even if I did do something wrong, who cares? 

Rules don't apply to me.

Let me deflect the fact that I did do something wrong and blame it on someone else. 

Held responsible for my actions (or the actions of those that I associate with)? NOPE.

Laurel Thatcher Ulrich said that well-behaved women rarely make history, so that's justification for my actions.


The fact that no one wants to be held responsible for their actions in today's society angers me to no end.

One of the comments on DG's post above about closing the chapter (written by a chapter member), said something to the effect of, I don't need older women who are out of touch telling me what I can and can't do (what's wrong and what's right).

Here's a newsflash -- you willingly signed up to be a member of the organization. While pledging that organization, you were told of the organization's rules and standards. You KNOW what you signed up for.

::steps down from soap box::

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Things I'm Loving Right Now: September 2015

Here are some things I've recently discovered and I'm loving them!

Alba Botanica Hawaiian Facial Scrub with Pore Purifying Pineapple Enzyme:
I started going to a new place to get my eyebrows waxed (if you live in northern MA or southern NH, check out the Brow Bar in Portsmouth, NH!) and she recommended that I use a facial scrub a few times a week to help with some skin issues. I looked around online and after looking at some ratings on Drugstore.com, I chose this. I LOVE it! It feels great on my skin, it smells great (I love smelling like pineapple!), and it's inexpensive. I highly recommend!

Quaker Chewy Girl Scout Thin Mints Granola Bars:
I'm a big fan of Quaker Chewy granola bars (I usually get the low calorie chocolate chip ones.) When I happened to see these Thin Mint ones in the grocery store, I scooped them up to try. I love Thin Mint cookies. They taste amazing! Best part? They're the same Weight Watchers points (3pts+) as the low calorie chocolate chips ones - BONUS!

Bracelet Dish made by my friend Michelle at Ruffles, Rust & Sawdust:

I'd been looking for a dish to keep my Alex & Ani bracelets in, but they were all too small. I'd mentioned it to Michelle and she found a dish that they'd fit in and monogrammed it for me. (You may be questioning if the monogram is right, but it is!) It's the perfect size and the monogram color matches the master bedroom colors. I love it! Michelle's super talented!

Clinique Beyond Perfecting Foundation + Concealer:

I decided recently that my powder foundation wasn't cutting it (not enough coverage), so I bit the bullet and headed to the Clinique counter. I've always avoided liquid foundation, as I hate that feeling of having face paint on. I was really surprised at how smooth and natural this felt. Once it's on, you can't even tell it's on! It has concealer, so it has great coverage. I'm really liking it.

Woodchuck Hard Cider: Summer Time: I pretty much like all hard ciders, but this one has a little something extra. It has a hint of blueberry which really adds some sweetness to it (yes, I know hard cider is already sweet!). It's very refreshing and perfect for summer time (hence the name. :)

What are you loving right now?

BQOTD: Can You Be Friends With Someone You've Not Met IRL?

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With the World Wild Wild Web out there, more and more people are getting exposed to strangers.

OK..that didn't sound right. Let's try again.

With online message boards, blogs, etc... people are virtually "meeting" people that have similar interests that may live across the state, country, or world. They may never meet IRL ("in real life"), yet they may learn things about each other, each other's families, work, likes, dislikes, etc...

So, this brings us to the BQOTD:

Can You Be Friends With Someone You've Not Met IRL?

Um, yeah!!!

Proof:

When John and I got engaged, I joined The Knot. The Knot is a huge online wedding planning site with a chat board for every imaginable topic related to wedding planning (and beyond.) I gravitated towards my "local board" (the Boston board). I got helpful advice on wedding planning and vendors local to Boston.

I also got my first taste of the dark side of online chat boards.

I saw how mean people could be when they were hiding behind a "screen name" (it was often discovered that someone would create multiple screen names and could be perfectly nice in one thread, but nasty in another.)

However, the positive outweighed the negative (someone even GAVE me four Bruins tickets!) and I stepped outside of my comfort zone and met these "strangers" IRL at a GTG (that's "get together" for those not familiar.)

An outing to a Red Sox game was planned for the group.

(There was a segment in Red Sox broadcasts where the onfield reporter would go into the stands and interview someone deemed "not your typical fan," thus the t-shirt slogan.) (Sorry I didn't iron it. :)

Clever, eh?

I had a great time and keep in touch with a few people from that group via Facebook. (And, they're just as helpful now, years later, as they were back on the chat board. One offered to teach me to knit and lets me know if Golden Retriever puppies are available from a friend of her family. I can still ask them questions about local places/services and know they'll be happy to help...and vice versa.)

Once you get married, the next chat board in the natural progression of life is The Nest. The Nest, similar to The Knot, is an online planning site for home buying and other "married life" topics, i.e., cooking, money, health, relationships. (There's a completely separate one for having children, The Bump.)

When we were looking at houses in late 2007, I decided to join The Nest. I figured I'd poke around on the local Boston board there, but I don't remember posting much there. Somehow, I was drawn to the Decorating & Renovating board (fondly known as "D&R.")

I got help/advice on house layouts, paint, bathroom fixtures, washing machine brands, etc...

That "etc..." consisted of laughs.

LOTS of laughs.

Some will find it crazy, but I found myself spending lots of time (maybe too much?) posting and responding to posts that didn't necessarily have to do with buying a house.

I found myself getting to know those that posted in D&R.

We each had "signatures" (text/photo/links at the bottom of each of our posts/responses) that helped me to get to know fellow posters.

I'd see a Golden Retriever in someone's signature and start asking questions, sharing pictures, etc...

I'd see a sports logo in someone's signature and start asking about their team.

The drama soon started up on the Board (same nonsense that happened on the Knot...and in some cases even nastier) and a subset of us decided we'd had enough but wanted to continue our friendship via an online format. (I say "we" but I think it was a few people that spearheaded the move. I'm sure someone will correct me. :)

Our group of 15 moved to Google Groups.

We were able to post/chat without trolls butting in and causing drama.

While we kept our screen names from The Nest, we shared more private details about our lives with each other during this time. (We even had each others' addresses, as we did ornament exchanges, sent cards for occasions, etc...)

Over time, two people dropped out, leaving us with 13.

Then along came Facebook.

We would not only be "friends" on Facebook, but we would move our group there, as well. (One stop shopping!)

The odd thing about moving our group there, was that now our "real names" were staring us in the face.

On The Nest and in Google Groups, we referred to each other by our screen names (often names, often words/numbers) and for me, it was hard to start calling these people I'd gotten to know by their "real" names. (Occasionally I still throw out a screen name to see if anyone's paying attention.)

All of this is to say, that YES, you absolutely positively can be friends with someone you've not met IRL.

Our group of 13 lives in 11 states (soon to be 10.)

We're single (yet in a committed relationship), married, divorced, remarried.

We're parents, stepparents, aunts.

We're teachers (a lot of us are!), librarians, bakers, Tupperware saleswomen, legal assistants, businesswomen, graphic designers, musicians, and more.

We've been there for each other through births and deaths, marriages and divorces, bad jobs, illnesses, miscarriages, going back to school, graduating, moving, getting a pet...and just about any other major life event that you can think of.

We encourage each other.

We give advice to each other (sometimes unsolicited :)

We disagree with one another.

We make each other laugh.

And while four of our current group have met each other IRL (one member even attended the wedding of another member!), the majority of us have not.

We do joke about a GTG at the Mall of America or Aruba or Las Vegas and when one of us hits Powerball, we expect this to happen.

Until then?

We'll continue our friendship of almost eight years just the way we have been!

The Drafts Are Piling Up!

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I currently have nine blog posts in draft format. (One as old as 2012!!!)

Eek!

For someone who's a "tad" OCD and likes her inbox clean and tidy, having these drafts is a bit freakish.

You may be saying to yourself, "Why doesn't she hammer one of those posts out instead of writing this one?"

Good question.

This post doesn't require much brainpower -- I can write from the hip, so to speak. The others require thoughtfulness, some research, etc...

Maybe by putting them out here for public consumption, it will push me to write them sooner rather than later.

Or not.

Here are they (in order of age):

1. BQOTD: Can You Be Friends with Someone You've Not Met IRL?
2. Sisterhood: What Does It Mean to You?
3. Self-Diagnosed with Hyperosmia
4. Caribbean Queen
5. Four Facts
6. Books Read in 2014
7. The Toughest Job You'll NEVER Love
8. Reading Challenge Check-In
9. 50 States? 50 Blogs: Idaho

Regarding #6, I should probably hurry up before I'm TWO years behind.

Regarding #9, I'm a bit wary of doing this post. Immediately (and I mean, like the next day) after I did my last 50 States? 50 Blogs? post for Hawaii, the blog I featured disappeared. Yup. that's right. Normally I email the blogger after I write my post to let them know I've written it and that I'll be linking to their blog. I didn't even get a chance in this case.... Weird.

Semi-Charmed Summer 2015 Book Challenge

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While perusing the latest posts on blogs I follow on Bloglovin, I noticed a Summer Reading Challenge on the Semi-Charmed Kind of Life blog.

It seemed like a fun twist on choosing what books I read, so I've decided to give it a whirl!

You can find the general rules for the challenge at the link above.

Here are the "fun" rules/categories (with my first book chosen for a whopping 15 points!):

5 points: Freebie! Read any book that fits the general rules.

10 points: Read a book you have never heard of before. (Just go to a shelf and pick a book based on the cover, the title, whatever you want!) 

10 points: Read a book that has been on your TBR list for at least two years. (If you've had a Goodreads account for 2+ years, this will be easy to figure out. If you don’t, do your best to pick a book you’re pretty sure you’ve been wanting to read for years.)

10 points: Read a book that won a Goodreads "Best Book" award in 2014.

15 points: Read a book by an author who is completely new to you. Finding Nouf by Zoe Ferraris

15 points: Read a book by an author you have read before. (No re-reads for this one.)

15 points: Read a book with "light" or "dark" in the title. (Or "lightness" or "darkness.")

20 points: Read a book with the name of a city, state or country in the title. Edited to add: The place must be real, either current or historical, but not fictional.

20 points: Read a book with an animal on the cover.

25 points: Read a book that is part of a series with at least four books.

25 points: Read a book that is longer than 500 pages long. — Submitted by winter finisher Kristen from See You In a Porridge blog.

30 points: Read a book with an alliterative title. (All words in the title must begin with the same letter; no exceptions for articles or prepositions. Examples: Gone Girl or Nicholas Nickleby. Yes, this is tough, which is why it's worth the most points!)

Channeling Karen Walker

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For those of you not familiar with Karen Walker, she was a character on the late 90's/early-mid 00's sitcom, Will & Grace. Karen "worked" for Grace as her assistant in her interior design office. (Yes, "worked" is in quotation marks, as Karen did as little work as possible.)

Karen had NO filter.

Karen said what was on everyone's mind.

Karen didn't beat around the bush.

Karen was pretty hardcore.

Here are some of her witticisms:


"Wow, ten years of game night. What a milestone. Maybe you should celebrate with a suicide pact."


"Oh hey! Somebody got flowers. Or as I like to call them, poor people jewelry."


"The only other person I’ve apologized to is my mother and that was court ordered."


"Excuse me, lady, would you happen to have a breath mint? You do? Well, pop it in your mouth, woman. It’s not doing any good in your purse!"


"Well, you’re all boring and I’m fun."

Some days I wish I could be Karen Walker.

I guess I'll just have to channel her via this blog.

Here would be my Karen Walker witticisms (and they're not NEARLY as good as the real thing):


"You don't know how to use the Internet in 2015? Where'd you park your horse & buggy??"


"Is there a reason you're not putting your groceries on the belt? Are you waiting for a green light? Written invite?"


"I appreciate you putting all of your random and mundane thoughts into writing and sending them to me via text. Really, I do."


"Yes, Secret is a deodorant brand, but it's no secret that people like you should use it!"


"I wrote that email to waste some time I had on my hands. Feel free to disregard it and respond with something that will require me to write it again. And again."